Archive | August, 2011

Best thing i NEVER had

14 Aug

So I’m laying on swing in my compound listening to beyonce’s “best thing I never had” and I start a thinking spree to all the best things I never had,doing this I go way back……
Last year june I met this guy,he was so funny and sweet,I loved to hang with him and we would just lay in bed all day long with exception of times he went downstairs to work. With him I was always happy and then slowly he started changing,missing birthdays and disappearing without warning……..even through all this I thought I could still love him but over a year down the line I think “I wanted you bad but I’m so through with that cause you turned out to be the best thing I never had”

Going a little further down memory lane I remember another..
We were perfect,we were the male and female versions of each other. He met my mum and I met the closest thing to family that was around…
We were really happy together but we had a major problem,I was “stolen” so we couldn’t be open,ofcourse at the time I didn’t know this was the situation,I thought he did everything right but that was just what I wanted to imagine in my fantasy world and then when I think of the time I almost loved him and then he showed who he really was.
I may have hurt a little about how things played out but I’m glad

A lot further down the lane,3years back I remember the worst of them all,the one who toyed with you,your emotions and played mind games with u,left you wondering and sometimes leaving you blaming yourself for something that’s totally not your fault…..

He had 3different personalities,initially it was confusing but eventually I got used to it and though I should have left,I stayed,I must have been out of my mind. I say this because there’s no other explanation for what I was doing with him.
He would hurt me and then somehow pull me back in, he would tell me I was the only and the I’d find out there were others, he would say he loved me but wasn’t ready to date yet and then date another and when it was all over and broken I still stayed to comfort him and then when he felt better we would start it all over again. What other explanation could there be for this behaviour other than madness?

Now laying here when I say/sing “I wanted you bad,I’m so through with that “cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had and I’m going to always be the best thing you never had”

Till Today I still speak to them,they tell me they miss me, they still think of me,they wish they never let me go.. I smile but the truth is I couldn’t care any less,I guess maybe its time for them to face the fact that I’m the one who got away..

I know they just say this because I’m happy now,I’m finally in love,I’m settled and I’m really happy with the life I have,with the man I have and with the love in my life

All I think is well I may have been hurt/hurting then but pay back is a bitch and what goes around comes around..it would suck to be either of them right now

They are the best things I never had and I’m the one who got away!!!!!

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star struck

11 Aug

I’m home watching tv and a mr D video comes on,by reflex I get up and I’m just dancing away and shaking my booty and then it happens,he takes his shirt off!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m screaming at the top of my voice,he’s absolutely sexy and gorgeous. “He’s just running around this country somewhere o” I think to myself

3weeks after I’m chilling at my girl yimika’s place when I get a phone call,its my friend pinre.
We start talking and after moving past the pleasantries she informs me of the real reason she called “babes there’s a party tonight,u wanna come with?”,
I wasn’t too shocked because pinre is my party friend
“who’s party?” I asked her(I was kind of interested),
“Its mr D’s baby brother’s birthday” she replied but before she could get the words totally out of her mouth I was already rushing to go get dressed

I couldn’t believe it,Mr D!!!!!!!!!!

Ofcause I knew it wasn’t his birthday but still its somewhere I might meet him
I brought out that special little number(you know that one that’s just the right amount of indecent without looking like a slut)

I was on a mission and mr D was my target,
Ofcause I would rather have gone in my ‘birthday suit’ *winks* but that’s if the party was in his room with just both of us as guests

By the time I was set to go I shocked even myself with how hot I looked.

On getting to the venue,I hardly greeted people,I kept staring at the crowd trying to spot him.

After an hour of searching in vain,I gave up and decided to just dance and enjoy what was left of d night. Somewhere inbetween dancing and drinking I felt someone tap me on my shoulders,I turn around and I almost faint,
its mr D!!!!!!!!!!I can’t believe it but as excited as I was I tried to keep calm

“Hey sexy,u mind dancing with me?” He asked
I replied “Ofcause I don’t mind” contrary to the reply I really felt which was “let’s not talk,just do bad things to me”

We danced d night away like we had known each other a long time,we talked inbetween the dances and I held him close because I didn’t want to let go(and also cause he felt good on me)

We had so much fun that it only seemed right for me to say ‘ok’ when he suggested that it was late and maybe I should stay at his place since it wasn’t far from the club

Finally I would be able to attend the party in his room with just both of us that simply required my birthday suit!!!!!!!!

I wasn’t scared
I wasn’t nervous
I was prepared

When we got into his room,it looked like something out of a valentine porn flick.
There was the red bed that was circular,the back rest,the fan facing the proper direction and the music player just close by the bed

He quickly excused himself and went to the bathroom(atleast I thought it must have been) I wasn’t ready for what I saw when he came out
He was glorious,I was starstruck
Its like he got the memo that we didn’t need any preamble to start this party

He came at me with a smile
I smiled back to signal I was ready
We kissed and touched and he took off my clothes,he did everything right and then he went down
I screamed,I was definitely in some sort of heaven
I couldn’t wait any longer
He was torturing me with this
I grabbed him and turned him around
I was incharge now and I gladly returned the favour
After such a long time I couldn’t wait anymore,I saw him stretch to the nearby drawer and a colourful packet came up,I helped him get it on and immediately sat on him
He filled me up,he/it motivated me and I rode him like a rodeo
He moaned and I loved it
I was the master,I was incharge
But not for long………………………………………….
He got rough(I love rough)
He threw me off him and turned me around,tummy down. He held my hands behind my back and went straight in
We ‘came’ at the same time and we just lay there spent and then we cuddled
****************************************************************

We’ve made our arrangement permanent,I don’t want to be his girl or anything,I’d just like to still be star struck

Because of him

7 Aug

I met him randomly,not the way you start your “girl meets boy” story,it was so random I didn’t see it coming……

You see,I’ve always been sceptical about love and all such things,to me it was just a waste of time and a way for boy and girl to do “the naughty” and not feel guilty after (I have strong cases of catholic guilt)

I knew he existed but I didn’t over think him,I was just going about my normal day when I got a message from him asking if I wanted to hang out, ofcause i declined cause I didn’t wanna hang out with some random guy I didn’t really know and especially not on his territory…however,being the glutton I am I asked him to come later on with pizza….

When I saw him,the 1st thing I noticed was his voice,
it was so soft and then he shook me and I noticed his soft palms.
We talked for hours like we had known each other longer than the hours and when time came for him to go home we parted reluctantly

Two weeks after that day I was his girlfriend.
I didn’t over think it or worry that it may be too soon,I just went with it

Its been 9months now since that monday he asked me to be his girl and I’m still as happy as I was that 1st day…….

I wouldn’t have done anything differently and I’m glad for the decisions I made

He’s always encouraging me
He compliments me
He’s always loving me
He made me believe again
He showed me how to grow up
He’s shown me the true meaning of forgiveness

I don’t just love him for how he is to me,
I love him even more for how he is to others
He gives until it hurts and he gives some more

Everyday I wake up and he’s the 1st person on my mind
I NEED to talk to him to feel complete

Now more than ever I feel convinced that I want to spend the rest of my life with him

I want to grow old with him
I want to have his babies
I want to be his backbone

I love him,
I love all that he is,
All that we can be
I love him too for his flaws
I’m in love and restored again because of him