GROWING UP

22 Mar

 

                                                     GROWING UP

 

Everyone has to grow up at some point, sometimes we try not to, we try to slow the process but life has a way of making us grow up whether we like it or not. Sometimes it’s funny because we don’t realise what’s happening at the time but it’ll be so stupid if we don’t realise what happened later and work with it. I’ve never seen the point in regretting anything that has happened in our life because nothing that happens is a mistake it’s just a lesson. We all start out innocent, naive and oblivious to the ways of the world and we believe that there’s good in everyone, this isn’t to say we grow up and find out people are bad but that belief is greatly flawed.

 

I started out innocent like everyone did and the ultimate man was my father, he did everything for me and nothing could hurt me because he was my superman but of course that changed within years. I entered secondary school and still thought friends would never stop being friends, enemies will still be enemies (no matter the silly reason), boys majorly wanted to hold hands and maybe if he was bold enough kiss you in the corner where no one was but entering SS3 i realised that wasn’t the case when i started talking to Ak. We always talked when we were in school, over the phone when i got home and we chatted on the computer and so when he invited my friend and i to a party at his house i thought ‘why not?’. I wasn’t pleased with how that day ended and since that day i stopped assuming he was innocent, i didn’t generalize it to all boys but i finished secondary school with a lesson learnt, a valuable life lesson that no school teacher could teach me.

 

I entered university of Lagos with the belief that i was ready for anything that life could offer and i was smiling every morning i woke up to get ready for school. After a couple of weeks, i was allowed to stay in school with a ‘former enemy’, that was my second lesson, friendships are unpredictable. I always wore short skirts and i went for parties, something i had never been able to do and i was ecstatic and 4years seemed like such a long time to me so i planned to make the best of it. I met so many boys in school and then i realised 2 other lessons; (1), i was quite sexy and cute (2), unofficial relationships were the best and lasted the longest. I never really took any of the boys i met so seriously and then an old flame came back for me, another lesson was learnt; old flames are old for a reason, leave the flames in the past. I felt i was done with boys and was on my own for quite a while and then the weirdest thing happened, i met this tall, black awkward looking boy who could sing fire, he was funny too and i thought ‘hmmm why not’, our relationship was brief but it was fun, he made me laugh so hard and i always had fun with him especially when we were out with his friends but then i started to see the parts of him i hadn’t seen before, he had little or no self confidence, it always puzzled me maybe because he sang like an angel and to me is the best there is so how cant he see how much he’s worth but then again i decided to chuck it down to being so sexy he was intimidated, that version seemed easier for my mind to assimilate. I thought ,maybe i could save him and so i always tried gave him money whenever he asked and i tried to be there and show him who he was but still it didn’t work, he was too insecure for me so i got tired of him. I learnt 2 other lessons; 1, you’re nobody’s superman, you can’t save anyone unless he does so by himself or wants to be saved 2,never borrow anyone that isn’t working money or someone you don’t plan to marry..lol.

 

I moved on from that hot mess on to the next one, the next one was fun but the fun was over even before it started and i was out of the country and somewhere down the line that went wrong but ofcourse i bounced back and had fun with this hottie, another lesson; there’s nothing impossible if you really want it. I was on my own for a while and it was somewhat uneventful but i like it, the freedom of being able to scope anyone without feeling guilty was good, also i learnt i like tall dark and handsome(not skinny), and i liked medium and somewhat chubby guys though i never hung out as such with anyone, that was of course until i met Laye, he was tall, dark, handsome and quite buff so it seemed alluring and it was so much fun INITIALLY but i learnt more lessons and incredibly valuable lessons at that;(1), Never ever date a younger, immature guy even if its fun (2) Like i said earlier never borrow a guy money, now its modified, never ever pay for stuff regularly when you’re dating a guy (3), when he lies about unnecessary things he’ll lie about big things,(4) When hes immature he’ll lie about anything to make himself look good and you bad. This of course was my most valuable relationship lesson and i know i’ll never make that mistake again but like i said its all lessons and i never regret.

 

After all this i decided it was time i had fun without thinking too deeply, i met lovely girlfriends and i ended friendships realising that some people aren’t worth the stress and realising that some girls are just mad, even to the point that it seems like they’re possessed by some demons and so you learn not to sweat the small stuff and appreciate the important girls. Months later i  met JJ and immediately i could tell he was different from his pairs and i found that so interesting, of course i wanted to get to know who he was and though my mind told me it was all fun and games i still liked him, he was fun to be around and he was so funny, i always laughed so hard with him and when he called me ‘baby’ i smiled so hard and he made me happy and he knew it but still i didn’t think he was to be taken seriously and i had fun with him and so when it ended i really didn’t have so much regret because i had learnt lessons from my previous experiences and i was able to have fun because i didn’t dwell on regretting anything. I still keep in touch with some of these people and sometimes i remind them just so they can feel bad (yes, i’m mean like that)

 

Not too long after JJ, i met Irede, from the moment i saw him i knew he would be my next boyfriend and i knew i’d be so happy with him but nothing i learnt prepared me for the love i was about to start receiving, nothing i was taught would make it easier to comprehend the fact that someone could love another person so deeply and without reserve, that he could give everything he had to me and still be happy simply because he made me happy. It didn’t take long before i realised that he was going to be my husband, the father of my children and my everything. This doesn’t mean that it has been easy, we’ve been through so many rough patches but somehow we still stayed together, we’ve fought so much i’m surprised one of us hasn’t gotten a black eye at some point (by one of us i mean him) but its been 16months of loving Irede and i want so many more months with the troublemaker that has come to become one of my best friends.

 

Like i explained earlier, nothing in life is a mistake they’re only lessons, lessons learnt to become a better woman, a better wife to Irede. In life we must never forget or regret our experiences because at the end of the day our experiences are what forms us and what we are. I love all my experiences(lessons) and if given a chance to relive my life i’d do it over again and i wouldn’t change one thing about myself (maybe except my pimples).

 

 

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3 Responses to “GROWING UP”

  1. iphyshun March 22, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    Reblogged this on adigwem.

  2. naynay March 22, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    O.M.G,thatso beatiful¤¤¤and reallly deep,guess ve still got a looong way to go oh,lifes fuulll ov lots ov people who’ve only got their intrests @ heartand we’ve gotta learn to resist them…we shuld sooo work on a blog together.._lol,…whenz d weddin sef,want to c u in ur wedding dress…lol.

    • awaywiththewind March 22, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

      Lol,omg,I can’t wait to c me in a wedding dress too,no wedding date set or planned sef..lol…thank u so much

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